So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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