omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
