i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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