Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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