yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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