I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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