hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
