Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
