my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
