And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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