We're facebook friends in real life
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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