If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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