Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
