And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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