It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
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He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
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Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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