when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We are two peas in an std pod
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Dick very happy bro
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
