better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
