My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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