someone get that fucking seahorse.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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