I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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