I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
