Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
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