God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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