I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
