i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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