get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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