Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I lost the right to judge tonight
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
