i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
