new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
