My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
