i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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