i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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