he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
