you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just pee around me
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
