Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
