So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
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you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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