u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.