when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
