if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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