Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
