how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
