Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
