pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
