At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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