Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
