this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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