your parents love me but you hate me
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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