That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
