the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
