If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I bet he comes in French.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
