idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He passed out mid-signature
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
