If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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