he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
