I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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