when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
