Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
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