It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
