I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
