Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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