I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
