So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
