were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
