I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
